It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
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