I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
