You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize