the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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