Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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