he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
