I love black thongs
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
