Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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