haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
