Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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