Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
