That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
