yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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