I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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