PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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