the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
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Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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