Sponge bath it is.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
