So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
