Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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