didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
