How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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