shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I want to fling myself into the sun
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
