I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
