We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
