It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So much Jack, so little girl.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
