I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Two words: nipple clamps
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