i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
