I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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