He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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