So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize