i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Of course I have a pirate flag
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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