So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
