I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
