nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
