my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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