Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
