just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize