i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
