And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
organizing the empties. That sober.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
