if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We are two peas in an std pod
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Someone came in the potted fern
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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