Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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