Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
