Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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