I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize