STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
