I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
