Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
