Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
