She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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