I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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