girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
