hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
