Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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