I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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