he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
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I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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