Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
