well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
