i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
