i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
