I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
